The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer

I’m not going to lie, it took me 2/3 of this book before it came to a point where I didn’t want to put it down. During those slow times, I pondered about a 3.5 or a 4 as a rating. Thank god I continued on and didn’t rate until the end. This book is a 5, and here’s why.

Clover is a death doula - which is to say that she sits with and helps those dying navigate their end of life. She is also an extreme loaner. Raised from the age of 6 by her grandpa when her parents passed away, Clover fell into her profession due to a personal regret; not being with her grandfather when he passed.

Throughout the years following her grandpa’s death, Clover, who is well into her 30s, has never had a romantic relationship. She’s never been loved in that way, she hasn’t even been kissed. So when she is hired by Sebastian, a quirky, yet handsome man from a wealthy family to be a doula for his beloved grandmother, Clover thinks her luck has changed.

In the background of Clover’s tiny circle is her 89-year-old neighbor, Leo, and the new resident to her New York City’s building, Sylvie. Leo and Sylvie weave there way unexpectedly throughout Clover’s life and encourage her, along with her new charge, the illustrious Claudia, who is dying of cancer, to see life through a new lens, to take the advice of her previous clients and live her life.

The Collected Regrets of Clover comes to a beautiful crescendo when Clover meets Hugo, the grandson of Claudia’s long-lost love, and he helps Clover piece her life together.

The prose throughout is well-written, and the ending is simply beautiful. I can’t say I’m a note in the margin kinda gal, but two sentences in this book now have sticky notes on them and I leave them with you to ponder and to encourage you to read Mikki Brammer’s book, you won’t regret it. [WARNING: If you don’t want to spoil two of the best lines in the book, don’t read the next two paragraphs.]

First, when Claudia is revealing some of her regrets to Clover she rawly states what so many feel: “I mostly regret putting the needs of others ahead of my own. But as a woman, that’s what I was taught to do. Your husband, your children, your parents — their happiness all mattered more. You were always someone’s wife, or mother, or daughter before you were yourself. It’s like I didn’t live my life for myself, as myself. Like I wasted what I was given.” —Oof. If that doesn’t resonate.

Second: “...maybe we have different business with the same souls in each lifetime. And it doesn’t always work out how we want it to in every one of them.” —I LOVE this. There is hope for people with regret thinking they let their true love get away.