There is a term that I have learned in my new community, "scanxiety." Loosely it translates to the anxiety that is associated with a scan, with everything from the mental preparation to the drugs that are administered prior to the scan, to the tube you are in and then the waiting for the results. Over the past several months I have learned to accept the scans, the preparation, the drugs and the tube itself, but the wait, that I have not overcome. The same holds true I am finding, for the wait of biopsy results.
It has only been two days since my bone marrow biopsy and I have already looked at the patient portal for my results, which of course will not be there as it takes a week for those to come. I guess I am having scanxiety in relation to my biopsy. Would that be called, biopxiety?
There have been some definite hidden Blessings in having the biopsy and those are that I had to get off all my drugs for three days prior to, the day of and three days after. Today is day number six of being drug free and I feel fantastic. I have no disconnect in my head, no vision issues, no dizziness, no stomach problems, no pain, no neuropathy in my fingers or toes and no sense of being off. I feel misdiagnosed. These are the best days ever, the ones where I can forget that I have what they claim a terminal disease.
Tomorrow is my last drug free day and I hope to dance like Cinderella before the clock strikes midnight and I have to jump into my carriage and wait for it to turn into a pumpkin which in my case, means I have to start on my drugs again.
So I will relish in my last night of uninterrupted sleep, without leg cramps that are drug induced, and I will dream of Monday when I pray to hear that my biopsy is clear. Then surely my biopxiety will be gone.
Wishing you all a restful sleep and thank you for your inquiries regarding my results, I will let you know as soon as I do.